Friends

"With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?"

Over the past few weeks I've had to deal with the crumbling of what I thought was a really great friendship. I loved this person to death and was there for her at a drop of a hat but due to certain cirumstances (details that I will refrain from repeating due to the irritation that it arouses in my soul) we have had a falling out.

Now here lies the problem.

I don't think she has any remorse or any feeling of guilt that this friendship is falling apart. My problem and my wrong doing is the fact that I am too stubborn and too prideful to pick up the phone and be the better person. I don't want to be the better person because I'm sick of being it. My mind and soul is exhausted of being the one who picks up the pieces and tries to assemble them back together. Why should I try to do this task when it seems to me that no one tries to do the same favor in return?

We spoke a day before my birthday and the day of my birthday she called me 3 times. I didn't pick up my phone that day partly due to the reason that I was and am still angry at her and also due to the fact that the idiot known as me got my phone wet and I couldn't really be on the phone. I tried texting her this with my wet keyboard thinking she understood. SHE HAS YET TO CALL ME SINCE. She didn't even invite me to her Halloween party that she threw, and we've spoken countless times of doing something together for the holiday. The least she could've done was call me and invite me and if I said no, then I said no. But she didn't even do that so here I am angry again at her but mostly angry at myself for allowing it to get to me.

It is obvious that this person does not view me on the same level as I once viewed her. I loved this girl as if she was my sister and her actions just show me and prove to me that the feeling is not mutual. Am I sad that this friendship might be nearing it's end? Yes, I am, but as a growing person I need to take this as a growing experience and learn from it. Maybe one day she'll regret that she lost me as a friend but maybe she never will. Perhaps maybe the relationship can be salvaged somehow, though I think it will never be the same.